Question: Hello, I am 15 years old and i am male. I’ve been having this exact question for about a month inside my head. “What is my sexuality”, I’m in a male to male relationship, not sexual or anything, just very strong feeling of love, but that’s just a detail. I’ve been I am bisexual for about 3 years, but only now I’ve really been questioning my sexuality. I’m attracted to males in every shape for form, sexually and emotionally, I can imagine and would appreciate a male to male sexual intercourse, but not a female to male sexual intercourse. It “disgusts” me to say the least, I really don’t appreciate it, but I’ve a felt a strong feeling of affection/love to girls too. What exact sexuality I am by those details mentioned?
Thank you for your question – it’s one lots of people have! Sexuality can be hard to label. This is one of the great things about sexuality – it is self-defined, can change or shift over time and it can be more expansive than simple labels. But this can also be frustrating when people are figuring out who they are and just want to know where they fit.
Sexual orientation is about who people are sexually or emotionally attracted to. Some people who are sexually and emotionally attracted to people of the same sex or gender identify as gay; some do not. Some people who are attracted to people of the same sex or gender sometimes, and another sex or gender at other times identify as bisexual or pansexual; some do not. Some people who wonder what their identity is identify themselves as questioning; some do not. Some people who don’t feel any of these identities fit for them identify as queer; some do not.
So, when it comes to answering your question “what exact sexuality am I?”, the answer is up to you. From what I can tell, you are a person who is curious, thoughtful, loving and affectionate. Not a bad place to start the process of figuring out who you are!
Question: Is it okay to masturbate to sister and cum on her stuff?
Thank you for your question. Masturbating is when a person touches their own genitals because it feels good. Masturbation is private, which means you do it when you are by yourself, or with a consenting partner in a private place. In Canada, a sister is never a consenting partner for sex (even if they say it is ok), so it is not ok to masturbate when your sister is with you. Cum is a slang term for ejaculation, or when semen comes out of the penis. Because it is private, it is not ok to ejaculate on someone else’s property. If you are masturbating and imagining your sister, it might be helpful to try to imagine other people instead. This can help make sure that you keep healthy boundaries with family members.
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Question: My ten-year-old daughter masturbates often and recently she has started to do it in public. How do I deal with this?
Answer: Rubbing or touching the genitals (masturbation) can create exciting and pleasurable feelings. Masturbation usually starts early in life when an infant discovers that touching the genital area can produce pleasurable feelings. It is natural for people of all ages to be curious about their bodies and find genital stimulation pleasurable.
How a parent reacts to a child’s masturbation may affect how the child will come to feel about their body. Parents (and grandparents) can help children to understand that rubbing or touching one’s genitals is not ‘bad’ or ‘abnormal’, but that it has its proper place. For example, rubbing the genitals is okay when done in a private place such as one’s bedroom.
For some teens masturbation can be a good release of sexual tension and this can be difficult for parents to accept.
Question: My child is overly affectionate to everyone and I feel this may put her at risk. How do I teach my child about safe boundaries?
Answer: This is often a problem and of course we do not want to dissuade a child from showing affection, just give them some guidance on what is socially appropriate and physically and emotionally safe. Unfortunately children with disabilities, especially as they get older, “live under the microscope” and are given a hard time for social mistakes.
Children will need very clear examples, nothing too vague. You may need to make up a pictorial guide of people that s/he can be affectionate with. It can take up to six weeks to establish a new habit and much longer in many cases so you will need to give lots of positive reinforcement. Be sure to tell others who work with your child what you are doing and have them work on this also.
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Question: My student thinks that every girl is his girlfriend in a romantic way and this is beginning to cause problems. How do I help him navigate friendships and dating?
Answer: It is important to discuss and work on the distinction between friendship relationships and romantic relationships/love. Explain that romantic relationships are much more serious and encompassing. Talk about people in your own lives and their relationships. You can also use examples from TV shows.
Use our online question box if you have a question about sexual health. The question box is available here.
All of the question box answers will be posted on this page, so that other people can learn from them. If you do not see your question posted within five working days, please resubmit your question. Your question may not be answered if it is outside the scope of sexual health.